You know, no matter who you are or how perfectly your life seems to be going. Life has a way of sort of making you wake up and take a real long look at the hard realities of what we are doing here and what this life is all about.As I look back over the last few weeks of my life, I seem to be walking two parallel lives of my current life. One is the girl full of spunk, sparkle and charisma where nothing bothers her and life is great and wonderful. The other, is the girl who is hurting afraid and wondering how bad this journey will actually get, and if I will have the strength to overcome it. I never in a million years ever thought I would be faced with my own mortality at such a very young age. "You have Stage 3 Cervical Cancer, it's Malignant and its spread without aggressive treatment, you have about 4-6 months to live." Hearing those words paralyzed me, I just became numb. Why? So I came home and turned to music and this song engulfed my heart and my soul....
Stay With Me
Words and music by Michael McLean
Every story has an ending, even when it can't be told
And every broken heart starts mending, when it finds shelter from the cold
I've heard a window always opens, when the doors have all been closed,
and though I know it's true, I need more light to see me through
And Lord I need you to stay with me, just until my heart recovers, stay with me,
it's a lonely thing to suffer. Tell me how, the heartache I feel now will go away, someday
Maybe we just might find the answers that will carry me
like an awkward dancer on a crowded floor, I'll learn to dance once more,
Someday, if you'll just stay
No one ever can be certain what another day will bring
So dim the lights and raise the curtain, the cast is waiting in the wings
Oh, Lord I need you to stay with me, just until my heart recovers, stay with me,
it's a lonely thing to suffer, tell me how, the heartache I feel now will go away, someday
Maybe we just might find the answers that will carry me,
like an awkward dancer on a crowded floor; I'll learn to dance once more, someday,
if you'll just stay
Anyway,a few months ago I saw the best movie ever! And now this quote is so poignant to my life right now. "My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we've ever experienced with all the people we've ever known. And it's these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again." So yeah, life's all about moments, those moments of impact and how they change our lives forever. So this moment of impact, these 30 seconds, 3 words, "You have Cancer" will define who I am, and what sort of impact I will have made on this Earth. I'm going to fight!!!
